March 1: EYE OF THE TIGER, VITTU. “This is your captain speaking, emotional turbulence ahead.” Last night I was the most pissed off and at the end of my tether I have been the whole year. Yesterday sucked, featuring a painful and pointless clinic visit, a flaming red and swollen leg, painfully failed blood tests and cannula insertions, IV antibiotics and mounting worry and anxiety about the million things to do that are approaching like a runaway freight train. The shields were at 5%, maximum. On the other hand, I walked pretty successfully with one crutch and the other hand on a railing, so I had that going for me. (“Fear usually takes 80-90% of strength away from people at this point, but apparently not from you.” I was told, which was nice, and also a reflection of the attitude that brought me here in the first place.)
But fuck all that, since today I walked for 30 meters with just crutches and a harness to catch me in case I fall. (No, it doesn’t support me, the straps are just tight.) It’s going to be close, but I just may walk out of this place in a month.
Oh, and the antibiotics/needlework scare was a false alarm.